Friday, May 08, 2009

Waking Realization

So I have realized (after a great nights sleep) that I push people away. I have always known that I make it hard to let people know me, but I always thought that I was pretty receptive to people in general. This chain of thoughts started last night as I was watching Bones on Fox. In last nights episode, Booth found out that he had a brain tumor and had to go into surgery to have it removed. There was great sadness from the entire team, but mostly from Bones. At the very end of the episode, Booth was about to go under, when the credits started rolling and BONES STILL DID TELL HIM HOW SHE FELT ABOUT HIM!!!! It was so depressing. It made me realize that I do that same thing on a daily basis because I am afraid of rejection. I will avoid telling women that I am interested in them because I fear reliving the pain of loosing "Apples.".

I pride myself in my extreme control over my emotions, but sometimes I wonder if it is causing me to miss the one thing I want most in life; someone to share it with.
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Transitioning on the go (iPhone post)

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