Monday, February 26, 2007

To Define

os·ten·ta·tious (ŏs'těn-tā'shəs, -tən-):
adj. Characterized by or given to ostentation; pretentious. See Synonyms at showy.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


soph·ism (sŏf'ĭz'əm)
n.
  1. A plausible but fallacious argument.
  2. Deceptive or fallacious argumentation.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


Hopefully this will shed some light as to what I write about.

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Blue Skys, and Cloudy Minds

The thoughts pile up in my mind as the water pools in my eyes. My pupils turn to into question marks and the sound of confusion floods my ears. I sit, surrounded by my desires, yet I cannot see what they are. I am feeling around my heart as a blind man feels his way through the world. My world is dark while my eyes are wide open. I cannot see past the shadow drawn over my minds eye. I once held the answers, and there was a time that the world was clear. However, that time has passed and the answers are gone. They left on a train at dusk for a far distant land. I knew as I saw the train pull from the station that, with it, went solution to the puzzles of my mind. Everyday after that I searched my heart for the key to my problems, but to no avail. I thought I had found it in the hidden darkness of a restaurant one glorious Friday night, but to my dismay it was no more than a weekend of excitement and a lifetime full of pain. "Maybe it ran from me?" I thought. so I turned north for the nest of this migratory beast, but I feel that what I saw was instead more questions. Could it be at the bottom of my coffee? I have seen the bottom of many a cup of coffee, and I am assured it is not there. So, I sit. I sit and I allow the tears and thoughts and questions and puzzles and darkness to engulf me and slowly digest me into nothingness. For this is the life that I lead, or am lead into. This is the forest that I am lost in with no one to show me the way . . .

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Someone WILL Loose Their Job For This

Today has been one hell of a day. I did the usual "go to class, sleep, dick around on the computer, insult fat people, come home" shit, but when I got home there was a surprise in my mailbox. No, I did not get an unexpected shipment of glow in the dark condoms from Rip n' Roll. I got a $1000.00 online shopping spree from Nissan of Reno. It is not the best deal, I still have to pay shipping, but I can get a full leather trench coat for $29.99 (anyone want one?).

After a great dinner with my father at Indian Kabab, I went home and checked my mail to find an out of place letter.

Before I continue, I must tell you about my follies to establish credit. I have been trying to establish credit since I was 18. My father has terrible credit, so having a co-signer was never an option. I was on my own to get a credit card. I have applied for every card that I thought that I could get, and was turned down for all of them. Finally about two months ago, I got a card offer from capital one and thought is odd seeing as just the month prior they had turned me down. I applied anyway hoping that there might be a slight chance in hell that I would get approved. Well, after that I forgot all about it.

It was not until today that I remembered it. I opened a letter that I got from Capital One telling me that I could increase my credit limit to $500 by using my card ending in **** (ya right, I am not retarded!). I was blown away. I thought to myself, "I have a credit card?!" After calling and confirming, I was approved for a $400 limit, preferred card one and a half months ago, and did not even know it. So they are sending me the Card via express mail and I will load it in to my wallet a happy person.

Someone is going to loose their job over this decision . . .

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I Support Assisted Suicide.

After sitting and listening to the scratchy, demanding voices come across my uncomfortable "ear-cuff," I have decided that I support assisted suicide.

For those of you that do not know, I work as a "Reservations Specialist" for a four-star (HA!) resort in Reno, NV. It is my job to listen to people ask for things that I know damn well they will not get in a lifetime, and them politely tel them 'no.' While this does provide a certain level of entertainment, it tires the soul after a while. There is only so much bitching and complaining that I can take before I have a desire to kill some one. However, I am also a pacifist (a bad one I guess) that does not believe in REALLY hurting anyone. So what does this leave me to fantasize about?

Assisted Suicide.

If these people wanted me to kill them then I would not be breaking my moral code. That is the best thing about morals . . . because you set them, you can re-set them any time that you desire! But that still leaves the problem of them wanting to die . . .

My plan is to point out all of their flaws and inadequacies until they cannot take life anymore and request death. I know that this is a long shot but it is worth it.

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Last Meme For a While:

Love and Dishsoap
by Nicole

"I would walk through hell for you

And stop halfway

To reflect on how much I love you

And to pick up milk and bread from the store

I can wash away your sins

And the laundry

I'd find you at the depths of the ocean

And my heart

And I'd find your lost necklace on the way

Wipe your tears

And the kitchen counters

I'll mend everything inside you

Pick up your pieces

And replace the lost ones with my own

While I'm at it

I'll get to your socks and old tee shirts

Fix you

And myself

And the dining room chair"

After reading this I sat and thought for a very long time. I have decided that this is real love. This is the love that we should all be striving for. To be with someone who sees your love as so honest and true, that they find romance in doing the every day-to-day is living with extreme bliss. I believe that I see this kind of person in Mz. Mraz. She is so sweet and wonderful that I do not really remember the pains of the past. When we talk, I just want to be with her and live life with her. I want an everyday love. So, the next time you are contemplating love, throw this into the equation and see what you come up with . . . .

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Personal Meme:

Here is a picture of me in my new hat. I love this hat, it will now become part of me. Enjoy the sexiness!



I do not know if I like the backwards look, it will take a while to decide.

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Friday, February 16, 2007

The Temperature of the water

So here is the plan for the life shifting event that I want to undertake. I want to move because it is overall a better choice for me. The schools are better than in Reno, the Clark Community College wants to give me 1,500 dollars to debate for them for a year. Also, the jobs are better. I could get a job with the embassy suites in reservations for $11.50 an hour. The job would be just outside of Vancouver in Portland OR and that is quite a bit more than I make now. Also, I have an opportunity with a possible love interest up there, which (as you all should know) is very important to me. Overall, I cannot find a downfall to Vancouver . . . save one; my wonderful friends. Fuzzy, Kattitude, Kaninka, Shananaginz, and all of the people at the Dojo are going to be so hard to leave. I am also going to live farther from my Dad than I have ever lived before and this scares me.

I need a change though, I feel like this city is drowning me in a pool of its filth. I see so much behavior that I do not agree with. For instance, I was on the bus during VD and I overheard a woman BRAGGING about how she duped her boyfriend into thinking that she was going to be at her mothers while she was actually cheating on him at the Adventure Inn!!! I thought to myself, "While sad, I will find this behavior anywhere I go." However, when I heard FOUR OTHER WOMEN brag about how, they too, would be cheating that day, I realized that this has to be a product of a town where nothing is sacred. Everything is an illusion in Reno, nothing has meaning. People that come here do not want a real and caring environment, they want cheap sex, booze, and entertainment. Not only are the people that live here more than happy to give that, they end up living that life style themselves. I am soooo sick of this mentality in a populace. I do not think that I can take this for another five years, until I am done with my Masters. I want to live in a community where the main purposes are education (college town), and raising a family (white picket fence idea). I see this in Vancouver. I have some friends that live there and I have studied the town extensively and have decided that I could be happy there. The real test is going to be when I visit over spring break and see if I like the environment and 'feel' of the town.

As far as the logistic of the move go, I am still looking at ideas. If any of you have any suggestions, please let me know!

Damn, I'm going to miss my friends . . .

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Enjoy this VD!


Today is the day. This day is the day that Hallmark rejoices as their sales go up and their pockets are lined with shimmering gold. Today, people in relationships buy lovely gifts for one another and express what they believe as their true feelings. Lies. Here is the truth about V-Day.

Today is singles awareness day. In case you did not realize that you were single before today, you will know now. As all of the couples are prancing around holding hands and showing massive PDA, you will be wallowing in a pile of your own self pity. Do not get me wrong, I would do the same thing if I were in a relationship, because it is not depressing until you are single. During these times of sadness and despair, we all could use with a few words of wisdom. Those words come from my Sensei

"Dave, all the happiness you need is in your head. You could be kissing a really ugly woman with warts and pimples and all sorts of gross things growing out of her face and still be happy. All you have to do is be happy up here (points to head). This is Aikido." Thank you Sensei, thank you. This is the mentality that we all must have to be happy, even if only in our minds.

That being said I want to wish everyone a very happy Valentines day. May love transcend all levels of your life whether you are with the super model of your dreams, or Ms. Wart-Face. And remember . . .

When everything gets down to it's basic animal beginnings . . . get a room!

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Conversations

Here is an AIM conversation that I had with a great friend of mine. I think it carries a real message . . .

[08:43] blade901874 (her): no I hate ALL japnese animation, except Final Fantasy and those games
[08:43] supersophist (I): I do not care for them either, but I would not say that I HATE them ...
[08:44] blade901874: I HATE them I really do
[08:44] blade901874: I spend enough time around people who are obsessive with them that it actually drive me across the line into hatred
[08:45] supersophist: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned."
[08:45] supersophist: lol
[08:45] blade901874: *shakes head and rolls eyes*
[08:46] supersophist: Dislike is ok however
[08:46] supersophist: HAHA
[08:46] blade901874: no I really hate it
[08:46] blade901874: every time I see some, it makes me want to throw a kitten into a ceiling fan
[08:47] supersophist: HAHAHA, you are so cruel . . . it is great
[08:47] supersophist: lol
[08:47] blade901874: lol yep
[08:47] blade901874: but its true
[08:47] blade901874: throw a puppy into traffic
[08:47] blade901874: kick a baby into a snake pit
[08:47] blade901874: pick your poison
[08:47] supersophist: For the baby?
[08:48] blade901874: no pick which one you want out of those
[08:48] supersophist: *shakes head* nvm
[08:49] blade901874: yea so you see I hate it
[08:49] supersophist: I got that by the third dead creature
[08:50] blade901874: yea

The moral of the story? No matter how you express it, Japanese animation is intolerable.

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Testing the water with both feet

"You are the person who has to decide.
Whether you'll do it or toss it aside;
You are the person who makes up your mind.
Whether you'll lead or will linger behind.
Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar.
Or just be contented to stay where you are."


Where am I? Is the goal worth striving for? Do I really want to leave it behind? What will I be leaving behind? Reno. Reno is a very sad and dirty little town. The people (aside from a few) are shallow, inconsiderate pricks. The weather sucks and the jobs suck even more. The schools are not exactly top notch and most of the professors are like third string QB's getting to play on ESPN for the first time. What is here for me? Well, there are my wonderful friends (the few from above). There are painful memories of one love lost and another never achieved. There is a go-nowhere job for an industry that I cannot stand, with a paycheck that can barely keep the lights on. Ahead of me lies the possibility of a future with the love of my life, a well paying job for someone other than Satan, and an environment focused on creativity and education. What holds me back? Insecurity. Am I good enough for this place? Will I have the skills enough to survive? These questions all rush through my head like a series of hurricanes. The answers however, are hidden deep inside of my heart, where only my meditative inner eye can see them. It is life's ironic joke that the time that I need this eye the most to see, it is blind. You are right Edgar Guest, I am the one who has to decided. I will lead and not be left behind. I am left with no other choice, I must dive in blind and test the waters with both feet.

I am moving to Vancouver, Washington.

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

Life City Limits. Population: Lonely

There she is, right in front of me. She is always right in front of me. All I have to do is close my eyes and she appears in all of her angelic glory. She is always mouthing the same thing to me . . . "I love you."

Whenever I need to escape from the world, I know that I can look inside my eyelids to repeat this image over and over. Alas, it is but a dream, but my love for her still burns inside of me like a wild forest fire. I have opened the doorway of my heart, inviting her in but she choose instead to stand in the cold with the familiar, the comforting, the status quo. The door is still open, but I can feel the heat escaping evermore each day. I do not know how much longer this can continue before the heat is gone and the heart is dead. I do not want to give up . . . I cannot give up. I know that if I can hold out long enough, she will see the true passion that I can give her and she will begin to appreciate it. If I close the door again, I fear that it will be for a final time.

The view of her and her every move keeps replaying in my minds eye. I see her gracefully gliding across the room, or beautifully speaking the silky soft words of her native tongue. That laugh is always echoing in the hallowed corridors of my gutted chest, while those wonderfully inviting eyes melt away all of my worries and allow me to just enjoy the pure presence of her heavenly being. This is not just a passionate love, this is compassionate. This is heartbreak. This is life, welcome to it . . .

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Being Honest

I read a lot of blogs. I read them because I believe that deep philosopical thought and discussion have been lost to our culture. I also believe that blogs are the first step to bringing that form of social interaction back to life.

Also, they are ostentatious. Here is something that I found at the blog PostSecret

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Self Destruct

I think that I am in love. In fact I know that I am in love. How do I know this? I could give you the usual "you just know' answer, but I always thought that to be a cop out. I know that I am in love because I feel pain. When I am not near the person that I have fallen in love with, I feel pain. This pain tells me that I am in love and that all I want to do is express that love. The other big reason that this love causes me pain, is that I cannot have her. She is in a relationship that she has been in for a while, and probably be in for quite a while. Isn't it just like life to finally allow me peace from my last relationship, just so I can fall for a taken girl? I have always believed that life only gives you what it thinks you can handle, however, I think that it missed it's mark this time and over shot. I do not know what I am going to do, but until I decided, I am being eaten alive . . .

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Napkin Picture

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