Saturday, February 10, 2007

Testing the water with both feet

"You are the person who has to decide.
Whether you'll do it or toss it aside;
You are the person who makes up your mind.
Whether you'll lead or will linger behind.
Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar.
Or just be contented to stay where you are."


Where am I? Is the goal worth striving for? Do I really want to leave it behind? What will I be leaving behind? Reno. Reno is a very sad and dirty little town. The people (aside from a few) are shallow, inconsiderate pricks. The weather sucks and the jobs suck even more. The schools are not exactly top notch and most of the professors are like third string QB's getting to play on ESPN for the first time. What is here for me? Well, there are my wonderful friends (the few from above). There are painful memories of one love lost and another never achieved. There is a go-nowhere job for an industry that I cannot stand, with a paycheck that can barely keep the lights on. Ahead of me lies the possibility of a future with the love of my life, a well paying job for someone other than Satan, and an environment focused on creativity and education. What holds me back? Insecurity. Am I good enough for this place? Will I have the skills enough to survive? These questions all rush through my head like a series of hurricanes. The answers however, are hidden deep inside of my heart, where only my meditative inner eye can see them. It is life's ironic joke that the time that I need this eye the most to see, it is blind. You are right Edgar Guest, I am the one who has to decided. I will lead and not be left behind. I am left with no other choice, I must dive in blind and test the waters with both feet.

I am moving to Vancouver, Washington.

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posted by Ostentatious Transitioning Sophist @ Saturday, February 10, 2007 Comments: 0